Imagine this – after seeing your cute little dog struggle for a month, you lose her. A week later, you’ve gotta manage your sister’s wedding in a foreign city without any support from any relatives. And three months later, you’ll be left alone at an airport by the man you’ve been planning a getaway life with for the past eight months (only to head back home alone from the airport and blackout into the new year at your friend’s place.)
And while all of this is there, you break off a longing period and get into a new role that holds the promise of everything you literally hoped to have in your 30s — staying at home with your mom and your other dog by your side, good brand name, remote, nice pay, and a brainy lot of people who for once might challenge you instead of you standing out each day for doing what you do.
So with this context, now as I reflect on how this one year has been with Project Tech4Dev — one thing that shouts the loudest is: just be kind to yourself — cause it costs nothing but takes everything. (I mean everything — patience, thoughtfulness, self-love, and then some tonne-load of more stuff.)
Even if u work in the social sector but don’t fit the general persona with your colored hair and fancy clothes and, at times, your loner attitude. (All of which has its own layers and story of what and why — layered in years of working on this version that, on the outside, looks calm with the storm always brewing underneath.) This person who is so prompt on texts — as good as ChatGPT even — but freaks out when someone calls him. Who gets everything in order and in an SOP but then loses interest cause now anyone could do it as good as him. Who can write essays on feelings and create presentations on his hair but closes up if u corner him in a meeting on why something in the said doc doesn’t make sense — cause it does perfectly in his head, but he just didn’t put it down.
But enough about me. Let’s get on with what the year has been like and why it has taken a lot of mental rewiring both on the personal and professional front:
- These techies love their reviews and comments — and as overwhelming and slowing as they are, they surprisingly come from a place of expertise and due regard for the work they are doing. Understanding that has been a journey, and getting along with it is still one that will take some time and responding to some gazillion comments.
- What I have struggled with so far professionally has been voicing concerns and at times having them heard, but this team does a great job at it — not just to check it off but to actually take action around what you might be saying — and then again giving you an honest download of it from all angles instead of straightaway agreeing. That’s some crude honesty that goes a long way.
- When you imagine a workspace and the setup, you think of suits and formals and the uncomfortable feeling of sticking to it. But guess what — these people love their kurtas and shorts. I mean, that’s got to be a deal breaker, and not cause they are trying to be cool — but because they genuinely focus on work and know that just showing up looking sharp doesn’t mean the work is done.
- With regard to honesty, another thing that stood out this year has been that the org, being tech-driven at its core, is welcoming to anything as long as you can make a data-centric case for it, show all possible ways you tried to troubleshoot, and picked the right tool using a clear ROI matrix — which is to say: do your homework and do it well.
- Work isn’t life and it shouldn’t be. And the Discord channel named off-topic speaks that loud and clear — with someone going for swimming competitions, another heading to complete a 30k on their 30th (while I woke up with a sprained neck on mine), to trekking and discussions over the best biryani in town — you get to see people for who they are beyond their role. And that inspires you too to share more, and treat your life as is — as a priority beyond working hours. (Clearly led me to show off my new garden filled with veggies, my new sewing obsession, a trek, and the colored hair for this season.)
- Setting clear boundaries has been another learning, both professionally and personally, because you are alone responsible for your own peace and can’t blame others for what you grant so easily. Be it logging off after work hours or staying focused on your life on weekends, or understanding that your friends need space too and you can’t expect everyone to show up and be there every time — cause they choose themselves (not to say they don’t care for you still) and that is fair.
- Now, if you have read so far, that means the writing has had some hold on you or maybe you are looking for another story in here. Don’t worry, there will be plenty coming and the team is again to thank for it. This blog setup, which initially felt one-sided and maybe even unnecessary, has started something again in me that had been repressed for so long — pouring out my thoughts into words — and with ChatGPT to help take the nuances out — the flood is coming. (A memoir is in the works already.)
- Gosh, they all can walk. I prided myself on thinking I could walk all day or do these insane one-day excursions to a new city, but then I see these folks casually doing 50k steps thinking or doing meetings. They are on another level of inspiring fitness and that is something to appreciate and take notes from — maybe walking.
- How could you be surrounded by techies and not think of tinkering? And one musing did take me to create a full-fledged plan for a legacy app. (Although dropped later, still exciting to be in a space of experimentation and knowledge.) Or the time I went into reflecting how Rosalia’s new album and Our Unwritten Seoul with its picture-perfect frames were the answer to AI rut. (There is a LinkedIn post to it, with an AI image… lol.)
- It’s remote but not remote-controlled. The freedom they have given me in the past year has been quite freeing and still mature. As you might guess from the above points.
For all this and more, I stand grateful and kinder to myself as the year — and my first year with Project Tech4Dev — comes to a delightful close.
And for the times I might have felt unkind to anyone, there is always the next year and the upcoming 360 review.
